Kelly McGonigal’s famous book, the Willpower Instinct, interrogates self-control and teaches readers how to harness the power of self-control to live fulfilling lives.
What makes “The Willpower Instinct” an excellent book on self-control is that it views self-control from a scientific point of view and provides practical, workable solutions to people seeking help.
Here are five takeaway lessons from this book:
Willpower is Contagious
Just like a fit of giggles at the wrong time, willpower is contagious. To back this claim, Kelly uses conclusive results from scientific research to prove what Jim Rohn has always said – you’re the average of the five individuals you spend the most time with.
So, if you surround yourself with people who have developed self-control, you’ll soon develop self-control yourself.
Unfortunately, this phenomenon goes both ways, so if you’re hanging out so much with people with no self-control, you’ll get lax with yours as well.
Willpower is Trained
Willpower isn’t an eternal fountain you can always return to when you run out. It is a muscle that you can train.
Pre-workout, your muscles are there but not defined. You don’t even get to see them after the first few weeks of working out. But if you stay consistent, you’ll be able to feel and see them in a few months. Things you were unable to lift will become easy, and the more you strengthen your muscles, the easier it is to carry things.
Willpower is precisely like this. Everyone has the muscle, but if you don’t train it, you can’t use it.
Embrace Temptation
Not literally. Kelly talks about the ironic rebound in “The Willpower Instinct” book, which is simply the urge to do something against your goals.
Your ironic rebound might be eating a cheat meal, skipping the gym, or leaving work to visit social media.
The ironic rebound is a strong temptation, and the best way to handle it isn’t to flee but to embrace it. The reasoning is that these thoughts overtake the mind the more you try to suppress them.
Acknowledging the temptation takes away its power. This doesn’t mean you should give in to temptation. But you can weaken it by accepting it’s there.
Act in the Moment
We all have life goals, mini habits or great things we want to achieve within a certain time frame. But we’re all guilty of putting off a task. Whether it’s eating within your diet, or going to the gym, many times, we tend to put it off for another day. The plan is always to do better or even double the work.
According to Kelly, this premise that our future selves are better than our present selves is flawed, which is why this plan rarely ever works.
The antidote to this? Act in the moment. If you miss it now, you will not get it done again.
Be Kind to Yourself for Failing
You’ll fail at controlling yourself, and that’s okay if your failure is a growing pain. Failing to exert self-control becomes an issue when it’s constant. Then that means you aren’t even exercising self-control at all.
If you stumble once or twice, forgive yourself and get back on the wagon as soon as possible. Don’t use one failure to justify abandoning the project altogether. You can fail as long as you get back up.
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